Its been over 15 years since we last talked. I remember that day, honestly for some odd reason… it wasn’t like I knew what was ahead.
You called to talk to my mom. You needed your birth certificate and since you lived in Florida and us in Ohio, you asked her for help. You were short, and relatively mean toward me over the phone. You had no interest in talking to me at all. I think that is why it stuck with me, here was a guy I looked up to not wanting to talk.
What I was too out of touch to know is that you were on your way to distancing yourself from your family members. Honestly, I don’t blame you. This post isn’t to try and change your mind. I get why you’d want a break from things. Your sister and I talked about this not too long ago and its hard for a women (yeah.. she’s a grown women with a family of her own) to understand how us guys can just cut ties like that. I saw the life that you went through. I lived some of it with you. For some it pulls them closer together, for others it puts a rift in so big that you have what we have now.
I don’t know where you ended up with things. Did you side with your dad and blame everybody else? Its an honest reaction to a young man and his dad. Did you just see problems all around and want a cut from everybody? Including your dad? Are you out there all alone? With whatever family you have now? I think back to some of what I saw and I shudder.
Our families were tied at the hip for most of my early life. Up until the 3rd grade we either lived in the same house or within a short walk from each other. I think of you pretty often. I have a Google search setup to try and find you. I’ve found a lot of Charles Edward Wilson’s, most of them black. I found one tonight that changed his name… is that you?
You and I fought a lot, but that is what young boys do to the older relatives they look up to! You were my older cousin. In this post are three pictures, two of them the same day. I don’t remember these days. I assume the third picture was taken when you lived out in the “farm house” that I remember. Why else would you need a BB gun?
Eddie, I miss you man. I would love to just hear from you and have a conversation. You get no judgment from me.
There is a saying that your cousins are your first best friends. Yeah, that’s true with me. And you were one of my first best friends.
If you stumble upon this, please reach out to me. I’m pretty easy to contact. I’m on all the major social media platforms.
I’d love to hear from you, and until then… I’ll keep searching.
Your cousin, Clarence.